Tuesday, January 22, 2008

10 Commandments of Making Relationships Work

10 Commandments of Making Relationships Work
by Rev. Kong Hee

Proverbs 11:30
“He who wins souls is wise”
When I win people to myself, I win them to Christ.

2 Corinthians 3
“We are a living Bible” – known and read by all men.
My eyes are Jesus’ eyes, my mouth is Jesus’ mouth.
We can either be a starting block to somebody’s faith, or a stumbling block.
We win friends by the relationships we make with them, not with what we have (ex. material wealth, position, status).

How do I make my relationships last?
How do I improve my relationships?

In the US, studies have shown that a typical millionaire stayed married to the same spouse all their life. Out of 1365 VPs, 87% remained married to the same spouse, while 92% were raised in 2-parent families. This shows that successful people have mastered the art of relationships.

The better I can relate to people, the more successful I can be in life. This also means that the more influence I will have in society, the closer I will achieve my dreams.

The Bible holds the secrets to living a happy life. It is not a book of advice or suggestions.

Moses came down with the 10 Commandments, and when I obey them, I will have a successful life with healthy relationships.

A Carnegie study showed that 90% of people who failed in life could not get along with other people. Being in the marketplace is all about dealing with people.

Singapore is the 2nd most densely populated country in the world. People are around us all the time. i.e. MRT, food centres, church etc.

I’ve got to know how to get along with people or I will fail to be an effective witness/minister for Christ.

1. Communicate
Communication is the key of life and is a 2-way street.
God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth.
James 1:19 “Be swift to hear and slow to speak”
More than words, our body language communicates 90% of what we’re trying to say.
Communication only starts when you listen.

2. Be interested in people and what they are doing in their world.
Philippians 2:3-4
Look out for the interests of others above yourself.
The things they share may not be interesting to you, but learn to be interested anyway – to show your love.
Don’t be consumed by your self.

3. Make people feel important.
Learn about what they do. Let them teach you and share their experiences with you.
None of us know everything.
When someone teaches you, it encourages them and it puts faith into their lives.
I have to make a decision to do it.
Luke 10:1

4. Smile when you meet people.
This will say “I like you”.
A frown says “I don’t like you”.
Get rid of frowning – it is a condemning attitude and will only attract the devil.

5. Encourage people.
When you put courage in people, you put faith in their lives.
“Greater is He who lives in you, than he who lives in the world.”
“Nothing is impossible with God.”
When people hear these verses, ordinary people will start doing extraordinary things.

6. Be long-suffering.
Learn to be patient with people.
Don’t jump into judgmental conclusions by assuming the worst.
God always thinks the best about us.
“For I know the thoughts I think toward you, thoughts of good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Take a long time to get angry.
Give people room to fail and to make mistakes.
No failure is final or fatal.
Champions are not people who never fail, they’re people who never quit.

7. Respect people.
Honour and respect people’s titles, relationships, and time.
Do not overstep their boundaries.
Do not overstay your welcome.
To show respect is to compliment someone.

8. Esteem others better than yourself.
Do not be a prima donna.

9. Use people’s names more than usual.
When you give recognition to someone, he will feel loved and accepted.

10. Be complimentary of people.
Be extravagant in your praise.
Measured praise is no praise at all.
Praise has no boundaries. When we praise God, we praise Him extravagantly.
Do not criticise children in front of their parents.
Learn to hold your mouth and bite your tongue.
Be positive and encouraging all the time.
Paul spoke well of the Corinthian church – even though they were a backsliding church, he still complimented them.

Ephesians 6:1-3
Honour your parents and bless them lavishly.
Be a true disciple and obey God’s Word.
Speak well of your parents and show them the love of God.
All parents start with good intentions, but because we live in a broken down world, things may not always go as planned. We need to break the curse (if any) over our family.

Ephesians 6:4
Do not put unreasonable expectations upon your children.
Do not impose petty rules.
Do not show favouritism.

Colossians 3:19
Husbands, do not be bitter towards your wives.

Ephesians 5:33
Wives, respect your husbands.

Friends influence your career, wealth, promotion, but most importantly, your witness for Christ.
1 Samuel 23:16
True friends strengthen your hand in God – your devotion and faith in Him.

1 Samuel 23:17
True friends create faith, not fear.
True friends celebrate your victories.
Jonathan rejoiced that David was to become king, even though he himself was supposed to be king.

1 Samuel 18:4True friends equip you for the future so that you can fulfill God’s design for your life.

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